2018 – it’s been good but also a bit of a crap one

I usually wait until closer to the end of the year to write a post like this but there’s been some recent changes that have made me write this post now.  It’s been a 50/50 Good/not so good year

2018 starting off pretty crap. Mr M was very unwell, in quite a bad depression that had started in December.  We worked through it and I supported him to leave his job and apply for new ones as his job was causing him a lot of distress

In February we both started new jobs on the same day.

We have great family days out, family trips away and just quality time together.  The year was great until August when Baby M had his first abscess but we thought it was a one off so we did what we needed to do and hoped we wouldn’t have another one

But we did exactly 28 days since the first.  He was so upset and distressed this time.  It was horrible to see.  This had a huge impact on me and triggered anxiety

Then 28 days later we got another one.  Each time we needed to go to Alder Hey for surgery.  Each time the staff were amazing but we had no cause, they didn’t know why it was happening.  My anxiety got worse and I started having panic attacks

November came with no abscess.  Yay!!

November was a great month for Mini M, he came on leaps and bounds and got certificates at school, drama & swimming

Now we are at the start of December, still no abscess. Double Yay!!!

I am starting to feel better, I have been having counselling which is helping me manage my anxiety.  I feel like I’m getting a tiny step back towards myself.  Even Mr M said he thought I’d appeared happier the past week

However yesterday we went to see my grandparents.  My grandma is 88 this month so we took presents for her birthday and Christmas plus a chance to see them. My grandma has dementia

My grandad dropped into the conversation that she had a biopsy on a lump in her breast on Friday.  My mum is an advanced nurse practitioner so she felt her breast, she has a hard lump the size of a tennis ball.  Breast cancer! She also had a lump under her arm and had fluid drained which means it is in her lymph nodes, this means it has travelled through her body.

Although we need to wait for the results we then had the discussion about what she wants to do if it comes back as cancer.  My mum and grandad also have power of attorney over health & welfare, this means should she be unable to make an informed decision they are able to help make that decision, which is why it was important to have the conversation now

It was like the world fell from under us.

Not only is my grandma having tests but my grandad had a CT scan & they are now sending him for further tests.  He has also lost weight and certain blood tests have come back abnormal.  These all point to him possibly having cancer too.  He was adamant as to what he wants to happen to him should this be the case with regards to treatment. He is 91

My mum and I have both said that one of us will go to the appointments with them, not only for support emotionally but we are both medically trained and we can help them understand what is being said

They are both very fit for their age, you wouldn’t think they are the age they are if you looked at them.

It’s a huge shock.

But as a family we will be there for them, they live an hour from me so we are going to visit more, go to appointments with them and phone them regularly.

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