Mummy’s struggling

Some of you will probably read this & think “get a grip I’ve been through worse”.  You’d probably be right but this is how I feel at the moment

Baby M is 5 weeks old today, that time has gone so fast in many ways but also not so much

Today is my first full day alone with him, can you believe that?! Whether it’s my mum, brother or Mr M there’s always been someone here with me.  Which has been great! 

So why am I struggling then you ask….

I think a lot of it is probably due to my expectations

I thought it’d be easier in some respects this time, the second time

I feel that all I do is feed & get stuck under a sleeping baby


I haven’t done anything much in weeks

Even with people here I haven’t done things, it’s them that’s hoovered or done the bottles

I’m so far behind with my blog it’s crazy, not that it matters but it’s a means of escape

The worst thing is I am SO TIRED!

I’ve never been good without sleep & I feel like I’m a walking zombie. Baby M wakes up every 2-3hrs for a feed. We bought a Perfect Prep Macine so that helps a little as the bottle is made in minutes but it’s still exhausting.  Especially when I can’t fall straight back to sleep.  Mini M also wakes up at 6am so usually Baby M has just gone back down then Mini M is up! I feel I can’t rest in the day as Baby M doesn’t really sleep unless he’s on me or we’re out for a walk & he’s in the pram


He is also a little constipated, he holds onto his poo. He gets really bad tummy ache & is screaming – it’s horrible & I feel rubbish that I can’t do anything for him. I massage his tummy & do movements with his legs to try to help

I also don’t feel I can manage Mini M & Baby M on my own. Another reason I feel like a rubbish parent. Mini M is so demanding & he doesn’t understand that he needs to wait. I find I lose my patience with him so quickly & end up shouting. I don’t want to be shouty parent all the time! 

I don’t know how people with more than 2 children manage!!  Although I don’t want ‘advice’ from others as it just drives me mad at the moment 

I know things will get better but right now I feel like the light is at the very very far end of a very long tunnel 

There are moments of wonderfulness like when Baby M gives me a lovely smile or we have a lovely moment where we are all giving him a bath

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4 comments

  1. Helen | Wonderfully Average says:

    Sending big hugs Rachel. I can really relate to this. I found it so very hard when my second arrived. I promise it gets easier (although I’m a year in to parenting two and we still have some days where I want to put them both on ebay!). I know that you know this but make sure you talk to people about how you’re feeling. My feeling overwhelmed and ‘not coping’ tipped over into post natal depression. Feel free to message me if you need to chat. And don’t stress about blogging too much, your blog will still be there when you’re feeling more like you again. Xx

  2. Lisa (mummascribbles) says:

    Sending hugs. The transition to two children is blinking hard on everyone but in particular the eldest child who up until.now has had everything on tap. In those first few weeks, Zach took all his anger out on me and made me cry so many times. I felt like a failure too and it’s just awful. I promise it gets easier – they adjust, you adjust, you learn where priorities lie and you just get used to it all. We are 11 months in now and most days are just fine! Don’t beat yourself up – you are doing a fab job xxx

  3. Farmerswifeandmummy says:

    You are doing so well. Give yourself a break. Babies and children are hard. There are many days when it is just easier to stay in-going out seems like such a challenge. If you need a chat, I am here and I know what you’re going through xx

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